Saturday, September 15, 2012

Respecting the elders

Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples.

    When Korean moves to foreign country, it takes long time for them to get used to the culture there. Different behavior toward the elderly people usually makes them confused. Unlike many countries in the world, in Korea, people had no doubt that elderly people should be respected over thousands of years. Although this custom has lasted long, respecting elderly is still important today. First, elderly people have lots of experience that can possibly be helpful to young people. Next, in aging society, people should respect the elderly naturally so that they won't ignore the elderly.
    To begin with, elderly have lots of experience that can help and guide the next generation. It is because when young people don't have much experience as elderly people does, it will be helpful for them when elderly shows them what they should do and they should not do. For example, Vietnam War showed the American that war is not a good decision for their country, and shouldn't have a war unless it's inevitable. Lots of people died from Vietnam War, and they gave U.S a valuable lesson through death. After the Vietnam War, U.S became more cautious, which resulted in less people dying out of war. Young people should be thankful to their upper generation since they allowed young people not to repeat the same thing again.
    Next, in order to live in aging society, respecting old people will help a bit. People's thought about elderly have changed since rate of aged people increased dramatically. Most people think aging society, or elderly people in a negative way. However, negative thoughts about elderly does not make anyone feel good. Instead, if people think that respecting an elderly people is a natural thing, elderly people may be able to have a better life. For instance, I met an old woman who used to live with her children when I visited 'home for the aged'. She said that her life there wasn't that good. Her family didn't like her very much, because they thought she was useless. However, after she came into the 'home for the aged', she said that her life became better because there are lots of people who respects her, which made her feel comfortable.
    To sum up, I want other countries to adopt Korean custom such as respecting the elderly. It is because they have lots of experience that helps us live through and it will allow more people to have happier life in aging society. All in all, I claim that respecting the elderly people is a good custom that I'd like other countries to adopt.

2 comments:

  1. Interesting post. I like this tradition in most cases, but sometimes feel the elderly abuse it, especially if they aren't that much older. Respect, I feel, should be based more on the quality of interaction. "Respect should be earned, not granted." But the respect you speak of is very worthy of respect.

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  2. Hi Hyrum.
    There were...

    Three things I liked about this essay.
    1. Structure is simple and clear to understand.
    2. Almost no grammar mistakes.
    3. I like the way you started the introduction. General fact that many people can agree to.

    Three things to work on
    1. Avoid using same words repeatedly
    2. Some expressions could have been more specifice (example - good custom/ help a bit/...)
    3. Try to make a stronger 'reason - example' link.

    Overall it was hard to find out the mistakes. I like your essay and totally agree to your points.

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